boytropolis

Last night I told Fatima that I am starting to crush on this common friend of ours, then she suddenly goes on a rattle about how I should be careful with his feelings and shit. This spontaneous bout of unsolicited advice overshadowed my revelation of romantic-but-mostly-sexual thoughts about the common friend, primarily because she revealed a longtime suspicion I've been harboring...that some people, regardless of their affinity toward me, think I am a heartbreaker.

I mean, dude, I just told her: I think I am crushing on ____ right now. And then she reacts with: Huh? Why? And then without skipping a breath she says something like: I gotta tell you, if you're going to go after him you better be careful with his heart. It went something like that and then she doesn't tell me why I should tiptoe instead of walk, she just tells me that I leave my heartbreaking skills at bay.

First off, what heartbreaking skills? It's my heart that always gets trampled and turned into fertilizer. Why would people warn me about my ways and means of romantic pursuit?

Secondly, what romantic pursuit? I never go after the guys I like. The few times I did it just ended in agony (mostly on my part) so I ceased to bother. Fatima continues by saying that she thinks this minor infatuation won't last because that's how I am programmed. She's right. However, I can't predict my own actions, so she's not that right.

It really concerns me that people have this impression that I toy with other people's hearts. I don't. Maybe that's why nobody ever asks me out. I look like trouble waiting to happen.